Chapter 148: I Want to Be the Mother of Our Children
We were silent until Justin completely left the room, and she was putting her clothes on, which I was glad for. Her body was irresistible. I don't know when our intimacy began, but I was incredibly glad I had planned on talking to her because I was kind of tired of using our bodies instead of our words. It wasn't like I had initiated the intimacy, so I was to blame for the terrible communication. Her cheeks were tear-stained, and I studied her face. Coming home to find Carol around the woman I loved was terrifying. She had a way with words and knew how to tear someone down with mere words. I know what she saidโhumiliating my girl. I went to her and took her hand, leading her to the couch by the window. I positioned them to face each other before making her sit down, and I sat across from her.
โLet me apologize to you first. Carol should never have been here, or even known where I lived. I called my mother, who always sees the best in people. She believed Carol when she told her that she wanted to make things right with me. So, she gave her our address. I am so sorry that happened. I will make sure security knows never to let her near you again,โ she said, reaching out and grabbing my hand.
โDonald,โ Abe stopped me. I couldn't read her expression, but she seemed pained. She had treasured me many times. So you don't have toโฆ
Donald, I was a bit frazzled, but you have never made me feel like any of the things she said. I know your mother is a wonderful woman and would never do anything to hurt us.โ She came out of her seat and knelt on her knees in front of me. Tears welled up in her eyes, and a wave of emotion washed over me.
โI love you, Donald,โ she blurted out, her voice cracking.
โI didn't even know if I understood what love was until I met the two of you. I feel awful that all this terrible stuff happened, and I put you both in danger. It was eating me up inside. You both have so much to live for, so many people counting on you thatโฆโ Her voice broke, unable to continue, and I could see the weight of her guilt overwhelming her. I knelt down in front of her, my heart pounding in my chest, and interrupted her before she could finish.
โDonโt, Amelia,โ I choked out, my voice thick with emotion.
โBad things happen, but I would rather have faced them with you than you deal with them alone. If we hadnโt been thereโฆโ I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, and the thought of her being hurt, or worse, was something that still kept me up at night.
โWhatever guilt you are carrying, drop it,โ I pleaded, wiping the stray tears off her cheeks. I would risk my life for you a hundred times over, and I will always do my best to protect you. I would give up my life for yours because that is how much I love you. She was openly sobbing now, and I pulled her into my arms, my heart breaking knowing she had been carrying so much guilt.
I waited patiently as she released all her pain through tears, knowing I couldnโt let any confusion or miscommunication go like this again. She must have been miserable these past few weeks; I know I had been. I lost track of time as she cried in my arms, and when I finally looked up, it was dark outside, and the only light came from the hallway. Her sobs had turned into sniffles, and I gently shifted so I could see her face.
โAre you going to be okay, my sweet girl?โ I asked softly, and she managed a smileโperhaps the first genuine one I had seen in a week.
โYes,โ she croaked, her voice raspy from crying.
I smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She moaned into my mouth, wrapping her arms and legs around me. I stood up and sat back in the chair, her body pressed against mine. Her kisses got me so fucking hard, and I know she felt it too. She liked the lass and looked at me.
โYou know that question you asked me a few weeks ago when we were looking at the fifth floor in your company?โ she asked, rolling her hips against myโฆ
A surge of pleasure ran through me.
โYes, baby,โ I responded.
I thought about that question every day. I needed to know if she would want to be a mother to my daughter, but I also knew that was a lot to ask. She pushed off my lap and stood up, and I saw her eyes flicker down to the tent in my sweatpants, and the desire that filledโฆ
โSorry, I wouldnโt be able to say what I needed to if I was distracted byโฆโ Her voice faded as she gestured to my erection. I smirked, relieved that was what sheโฆ
โMy dick,โ I finished the sentence for her, and she bit her bottom lip at my words. Her nipples were hard against her tank top, and my mouth watered. I looked up at her face so that I didnโt get distracted, and she began to wring her hands and pace in front of me.
โSo, at the hospital when I met Emily, I fell in love with her. The thought of her being a part of my life brought me so much joy, but then I saw how she interacted with Justin and how the three of you interacted together, and I guess I just thought maybe I wouldnโt fit in,โ she whispered. My brow furrowed, and I stood.
โWouldnโt it fit?โ I asked, confused by her words.
โSometimes I feel like a third wheel, and I didnโt think I could be in a committed relationship if I didnโt feel like I had a role in it,โ she said, and fresh tears came to her eyes. I closed the distance and cupped her face in my hands.
โOh, baby girl,โ I murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. โYou fit so perfectly into my life that if you ever left, I would fall apart. When you ran away, I couldnโt function, and if it wasnโt for Justin, I wouldnโt have made it at all. We were all new to navigating this relationship with three people, and if we donโt communicate, how would I know how you feel about certain things? I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel like you arenโt as important to me as Justin.โ I wiped her tears away with my thumb, and she nodded, understanding in her eyes.
โI want to be the mother Emily deserves,โ she said softly, her voice filled with emotion. โI want to be the mother of all the children we would have as a family; it is all I could really think about when it comes to the future. I donโt have a mother, and I know how hard that is. I would never want Emily to experience the rest of her life without one.โ
I smiled, touched by her words. She would be a wonderful mother because even with all the confusion of the last few weeks, she had already been the person Emily needed.
โI just want you to know that Emily has already considered you her mother. She refers to you as Mansa, even though I told her we needed to make sure it was okay with you first,โ I mumbled.
The look of joy that filled her face made my heart so happy. Carol never once exhibited this type of happiness when it comes to Emily, and that always hurt so much.
โI told her that I havenโt talked to you about it yet, and she told me what is there to talk about? Anyone who treats me as well as Amelia does and loves me more than words can express is fit to be my mother. She knows how much you love her; she is just waiting for you to tell her.โ
She wrapped her arms around me and jumped with excitement. She pulled back and kissed me hard, and then a few soft kisses that made me melt.
โOh my goodness,โ she squealed.
โI have to call her now.โ She pulled away from me and went looking for her phone, and I smiled.
โBaby girl?โ I called after her. She stopped and looked at me.
โEmily is at dinner now; we can call her before bed.โ Her shoulders sagged slightly, but she nodded reluctantly. I went to her and pulled her into my arms.
โI donโt want her to go another second without knowing how much I care about her,โ she said, her voice muffled against my chest.
Her words struck a chord deep within me, and I couldnโt hold back my tears. I held her tighter, feeling a surge of emotion. My daughter would finally have the love she deserved, and I felt, for the first time in years, like I had actually done something right.