Chapter 147: You Have My Heart
Chapter 117: You Have the Heart
We spent the next couple of hours making love. The entire conversation with Carol had made Donald very on edge, and he had to make sure Amelia knew she was the only woman for him. It seemed he also made sure I knew I was his, too. He left the bed a short while ago to make dinner and told me to stay put until he called. Amelia had been sandwiched between us. We had definitely planned on going out for dinner, but I don't think Donald was up for that.
I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to see her again. I know he doesn't love her, but she is the mother of his daughter, even if she was a terrible one at that. I wanted to go console him a little, but I didn't want to leave Amelia alone either, so I waited until she woke up. Her sexy little moans as she woke made my dick stiffen, even though I don't think I could actually perform after the marathon we'd just had.
“Hey, baby,” I said, kissing her forehead.
She moaned a happy little response, draping her legs over my body. Her eyes opened suddenly.
“Where is Donald?” she asked, almost frantically.
“Cooking dinner,” I replied, and she sat up, looking down at me.
“You think we should leave him alone?” she asked softly.
“Not actually, but I didn’t want to leave you alone either.” She smiled, leaning down to kiss me. Then she noticed it was only me in the bed.
“I am a big girl; I don’t need to be cuddled every time someone says something hurtful to me. I would never be able to function if the two of you always waded in to protect me,” she said. I didn’t respond right away as I watched her get up and find some panties and a bra.
I sat up, leaning my head against the headboard and watched her. I know she is not a child, but I also know that she has been emotionally abused before, and I never wanted her to feel threatened by anyone.
“You are everything to me; you and Donald are my world. Nothing and no one is going to change that, but baby girl, you have been through some things. Even if you say you are a big girl and can handle your feelings and emotions, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t give you the emotional and physical protection you deserve, even if you think you don’t need it?” I watched her stop to look at me. I climbed out of the bed and walked over to her, cupping her neck in my hands.
“Please don’t deny me this.” I dropped my hand and placed it over her chest.
“I love you too much to let someone else come in and break what was mine to protect,” I said, and watched the tears pool in her eyes as she took in my words.
I know our relationship didn’t start off as well as it should have; we were obsessed with lust all the time, and over the past few weeks, I have realized I haven’t given her the emotional stability I know she needs, even if she claims she was fine.
“You have my heart, Justin, and you always have. I have forced myself to be so emotionally disconnected in fear of being hurt almost my entire life that letting you in is hard,” she mumbled.
I need to say that to Donald. I honestly don’t think he has been himself since the accident. He was so worried about you,” I said, wiping the tears that had slipped down her cheeks. I kissed her softly on each cheek. She pressed herself closer, and my dick decided to wake up, and I placed my hands on…
“Baby, you know you are incredibly sexy and fucking irresistible, but right now is not the time.” She pouted at my words, and I smiled softly.
“I know you have not been in a relationship that had more emotional connection than physical, but it’s all we do—fuck each other and never talk; we will continue to always be walking on eggshells.” She drops her eyes and takes a step back.
“In my past relationships, if there was a fight or disagreement, we seemed to just fix it with sex. We didn’t talk or communicate.”
I sat on the bed and studied her. It didn’t help that that was what we had done for the past few months, and I sighed.
“You were with a boy, but now you are with grown-ass men. Yes, we love sex, but sex will always just be sex if there is no emotional connection,” I say carefully. She bites her lip, a serious expression on her face.
“Talk to me, kale. You have my full undivided attention,” I said.
She began to cry, her eyes welling occasionally. There was a long gap of silence as she collected her thoughts, and she finally stopped. She turned to face me.
“There is something about the beginning of our relationship that made me be a little closed off. I felt like I was more of a sexual addiction rather than…”
I wanted to spend what little time we had with… She started, and my expletive fell, but I tried my best to school my emotions and not butt in until she finished.
“It’s not true, but up until the car accident, I felt that way. Then the accident—the way the two of you protected me, even though both of you have The Low, more than I do, but you willingly risked your lives to protect me. I knew for a fact you both loved me without a doubt, but then in the hospital, that Donald protected me knowing his daughter is the most important person for him—to recklessly risk his life for me—was eating at me.” She started sobbing, tears sliding down her face. She wiped at them. I saw movement behind…
I realized Donald had come upstairs and was listening quietly at the…
(He would have still been alone, but it hurt to know how upset he was. Not because I wanted him to be proud of saving me, but because he could have, and Emily would be all alone. He had every right to be guilty about his decision, and then Emily asked if I was going to be her mother, and it broke my heart. Emily needs and deserves a mother, but I don’t know if I am stable enough right now. I have had such a fucked-up past; I didn’t even have a mother, so would I know how to be one? How do I know Donald would even want me to be one to his daughter?) She paused again, and my heart hurt at her words.
This is what happens when we don’t communicate with each other. How long would she have let these feelings fester? Unless she ran away again? She seemed to…
“Listen, babe,” No matter how hard it is to talk about what you are feeling, there is no way we can continue this relationship if you hide your feelings from us. If it is a purely sexual relationship you want with us, it is not going to work out because Donald and I love you so much.” I paused; my eyes flickered to his. I could see the tears welling in his eyes from across the room. She was still unaware he was there.
“But we want this relationship to work; we want you to be a mother to our children. I don’t know how to be a father because mine was never present in my life, but I know it is something I can learn, and I know all new parents deal with that learning curve. I am sure Donald did, and we will be together.” I paused and stood up, walking over to the bed.
Baby, I never liked Donald more than you, or vice versa. You two came into my life at the same time and stole my heart at the same time. Donald and I may be more touchy-feely with each other because we have physical touch personalities, but baby girl, there is no loving one of you more than another. I love you both so fucking much. I am sorry if you have ever felt like an afterthought, I told her, pulling her into my arms, and my eyes met Donald’s, and I saw the pure veneration on his face.
I knew it was time for him to have a talk with her, so I pulled back and looked down at her.
“Talk to Donald, baby, and figure out what it is that is keeping you from him; this awkwardness needs to go away. We are a family, and we really need to start acting that way,” I said, and she nodded reluctantly.
“I will keep an eye on the food while you both talk,” I said, kissing her softly on the cheek before going to my closet and pulling on some sweats and leaving the…
I prayed this approach worked because I honestly didn’t know what else to do.