Chapter 213
I didn’t want to cause a spectacle in the street, so I grabbed Jonathan’s arm and dragged him into the car.
After the car started moving, the feeling of nausea grew even stronger.
Seeing my terrible complexion, Jonathan asked in concern, “Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere? I’ll help you request leave from the company.”
“There’s no need for that. Frederick has already done that for me,” I replied curtly.
Jonathan’s expression darkened, but he said nothing in the end.
I shook my head, calming down suddenly. I took a deep breath and said evenly, “You really don’t have to do this, Jonathan. In truth, I don’t blame you. Other than feeling upset about you saving Alicia over me back then, I’ve made my peace with everything else that happened afterward.
“We’re simply not a good match for each other. Although you failed to give me a sense of security, I also lacked self-confidence and became paranoid of everything, thus doing a lot of things that annoyed you.
“When it comes down to it, I’m not entirely without fault. The fact that we arrived at this point at all proves that we both have issues.”
Now that I thought about it, I found the situation rather ridiculous.
Although I wasn’t willing to see Jonathan, even I felt annoyed at the person I used to be.
The past me would pester Jonathan every day. He was the only person I cared about, and I devoted all my heart and being to him as if the rest of the world didn’t matter.
That version of me certainly lacked any sort of charm.
If I didn’t even like that version of myself, how would Jonathan have liked me?
“It wasn’t that I didn’t like it,” Jonathan said hoarsely. “I did feel annoyed at your behavior, but I’ve never considered divorcing you. I thought that even if we quarreled a lot, we’d still spend the rest of our lives together.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want that kind of life, though. Alicia was just the fuse that started the fire, but the root of the problem is that we’re from completely different worlds. I’m unable to trust you, and you can’t afford to accommodate me unconditionally either.
“As time goes by, we’ll inevitably become exhausted, and at that point, new issues will arise. We’re both adults now, Jonathan. Let’s not be so childish anymore.”
I insisted on not letting him send me back home, so I stood downstairs and watched as the black Cullinan drove away.
I sighed as I looked at him getting further and further away. “If I really am pregnant…”
The next morning, I tried out the pregnancy test kit I bought last night.
I’d heard that a urine test first thing in the morning produced the most accurate results.
Sure enough, just as I guessed, two lines appeared on the test strip.
I took a deep breath. Because I had already guessed as much, I didn’t actually feel very worked up. I simply felt slightly expectant.
My family didn’t share strong ties with each other, so I wasn’t very close to my parents.
After they got divorced, they both started their own new families.
I always dreamed of having a perfect, harmonious life as a perfect family of three after meeting Jonathan. It was why I regarded him like a savior and held desperately onto him like a lifeline.
The tighter I held on, the faster he slipped through my grasp.
I always very much wanted to have a child, hence why I completely gave up on him after he expressed his opinion on the matter.
If I could raise the child by myself, I’d be fine with just that.
It was my day off today, so I went straight to the hospital for a checkup.
The blood test results came out, confirming that I was indeed pregnant.
In fact, I had been pregnant before losing my memories. Fortunately, my suicide attempt hadn’t harmed the child.
I finally felt a glimmer of hope as I looked at the prenatal checkup report.
Just as I was preparing to head home with the report in hand, I suddenly saw a woman I hadn’t seen in a long time on the street.
“What’s that in your hand, Elise?” Alicia demanded.
Her sudden appearance gave me a fright, and I reflexively stuffed the report in my bag. “What does that have to do with you? It’s none of your business!”