Chapter 433
But sheโd already endured the pain, hadnโt she? Didnโt that mean sheโd made it through?
Ivy had no experienceโshe didnโt know the answer.
She mulled it over in silence, then mustered her courage and glanced at the man lying beside her.
In the dim light, he was stretched out on his back, his nose straight and bold against the shadows, his jaw sharp and unyielding.
She watched his Adamโs apple move as he swallowed, a display of masculine strength that sent another ripple of longing through her.
โJamisonโฆโ she called softly.
โHm?โ He turned to face her. โCanโt sleep?โ
โNoโฆโ Ivy replied, her voice barely above a whisper as she pressed her lips together. โI think I was just too nervous earlier. But now I feel a lot more relaxed, soโฆ if youโd like, maybe we could try again?โ
Jamison was honestly surprised.
Sheโd been trembling so much before, wound tight as a wireโhow could she be ready so soon?
Or maybe she just felt guilty, trying to make it up to him by pushing past her discomfort.
After a moment of silence, Jamison rolled over to face her.
The rustle of sheets made Ivyโs heart flutterโshe thought he was about to begin, so she turned as well, bracing herself.
But he didnโt move closer.
โIvy, what are you thinking?โ he asked in a low, gentle voice, tinged with both exasperation and amusement. โDo you really think Iโm not going to let you sleep until we get this over with?โ
Her cheeks grew hot, but thankfully the darkness hid her blush.
โNo, itโs not thatโฆ I just think, well, weโre married now, and sooner or later we have to face this. Actually, if youโd been a little moreโฆ forceful before, maybe we wouldโveโฆโ
She trailed off.
Jamison finished her thought. โIf Iโd pushed you, you might never have been able to accept it, Ivy.โ
Some things couldnโt be rushedโthey needed patience, not pressure.
As her husband, he owed her understanding and care, not brute force. Besides, he was a doctor; he knew better than anyone where the lines were.
Ivy fell silent, a hint of frustration in her voice as she muttered, โBut Dr. Penn said, you knowโฆ being intimate is supposed to help with cramps. I just wanted to know if thatโs trueโฆโ
Understanding dawned on Jamison, and he gave a short, incredulous laugh. โSo youโre using me as your remedy?โ
Ivy didnโt dare respond.
โSo thatโs why you were so persistent tonightโI thought maybe you just felt bad for me, but turns outโฆโ He shook his head, half amused, half resigned.
Ivy grew flustered. โWell, donโt men usually enjoy this kind of thing? You say it like youโre the one being taken advantage of.โ
โNormally, sure. Butโฆโ Jamison hesitated.
But tonight, he hadnโt enjoyed it at all. Heโd been worried the whole time.
Ivy heard the unspoken words and felt a pang of guilt.
She thought of everything heโd done for her, and how little sheโd been able to give in return. Even when she tried to fulfill her wifely duty, her nerves got the better of herโit really wasnโt fair to him.
Silence settled between them again. Ivy searched for some other solution, and then blurted out, โYouโre a doctorโdonโt you know of any medicine or, I donโt know, something that couldโฆ make it less painful?โ
Jamisonโs expression hardened, frustration flaring in his eyes.
โIvy, do you even hear yourself right now? You want me to drug my own wifeโjust toโฆโ
He was so angry he couldnโt finish the sentence.
How could someone as smart, as reasonable as her, suddenly come up with such a reckless idea?