Chapter 271
Daemonikai reached out, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss upon it.
โHow do you feel?โ Emeriel asked quietly.
โBetter. Exhausted, but better.โ His eyes flicked to hers. โHow do you feel? All this must not have been easy for you. I cannot even imagine.โ
โThat day in the woods, you told me it took losing the best part of you to crawl out of your grave,โ he said, his eyes dropping to their joined hands. โI didnโt realize this was what you meant. No wonder you couldnโt forgive me. No wonder you couldnโt find it within yourself to give us a second chance. If I had known the extent of what you went through,โ he shook his head, โI would never have pestered you so much. Never have tried to force it.โ
โThen Iโm glad you did not know,โ Emeriel stated coolly. โThe truth is, I never wanted you to find out. I knew what it would do to you, so it became a burden I was prepared to carry alone to my grave.โ
โThatโs too much for anyone to bear alone. Iโm grateful I know now. Even though it breaks my heart, I wouldnโt have it any other way. Now, I can share this burden with you.โ
Emeriel wouldnโt say she was happy he knewโnot entirely. But she couldnโt deny the relief she felt. Sharing it with him was liberating.
A lot had happened tonight. Sheโd finally faced the loss she had always run from. For so long, she believed speaking of it would reopen wounds too deep to heal, which was why she shoved it deep within herself, into darkness. But she had been wrong. Talking about it had brought relief.
โAnother will come,โ Emeriel wrapped her other hand around their already intertwined fingers, squeezing gently. โWe will have a child in the future.โ
โIf only it worked that way,โ he said wistfully, his voice a soft ache. โThis one was a miracle.โ
โHave a little faith, Beloved.โ As she reassured him, she also reassured herself, clinging to hope. We would have anotherโฆ right?
โWhen is your next heat?โ
โI donโt know,โ she confessed.
โYou donโt keep track?โ There was no judgment in his tone, only curiosity wrapped in a thread of concern.
Emeriel shook her head. โA healer once told me it was erratic.โ
His brows pinched. โEven so, you should have noticed some pattern over time. Thereโs no predictable timeframe at all?โ
Her eyes fell to their intertwined hands, and she didnโt respond.
โRiel, thereโs something you are not telling me,โ Daemonikaiโs voice was calm. โNo more secrets. I ask because I donโt want you to suffer during your next heat. I need to make sure Iโm here when it happens.โ
Emeriel wet her lips nervously. โI have been on suppressants for years. Heat suppressants.โ
The crackling fireplace behind them suddenly sounded too loud.
โEmerielโฆโ
โIt was the first thing I did when I left Urai,โ she said in a quiet confession. โI was mad at you, heartbroken. But even as the years stretched on, I never once regretted taking the suppressants. They terrified me, yes. Some days, the side effects made me outright panic. But I never regretted it. Do you know why?โ
He remained silent, but Emeriel could see in his eyes that he already knew.
โBecause I didnโt want another manโs touch. I couldnโt bear it, not even outside of heat. When I tried to move on, I allowed suitors. They courted me, but even a kiss on the back of my hand took everything in me to bear.โ
A faint smile touched her lips. โYou ruined me for other men, Your Grace.โ
โI apologize,โ he sounded serious, but there was nothing remotely apologetic in his expression. โActuallyโฆ no. You know what? I donโt think I am.โ
A small laugh bubbled from Emerielโs chest. โI know. You donโt look sorry at all. In fact, you lookโฆ almost happy.โ
โThereโs no โalmostโ about it.โ Daemonikaiโs lips curved into a possessive smile, his free hand sliding to her waist. โYou are my woman, and Iโm glad none of those human idiots laid a hand on you. Now they get to keep their lives.โ
โYou sound like a caveman,โ she admonished, though her words lacked bite as a rush of love spread through her chest.
โMy kind are cavepeople.โ He was proud. โWe are less evolved than humans.โ
But as the lightness faded from his face, concern replaced it. โWhat you did was dangerous, Riel. You put your life at risk.โ
Emeriel nodded slightly, acknowledging the truth in his words.
โItโs bothered me for years, you know. Your heats, and how you spent them. I always wanted to ask, but I had no right. So I tried to suppress that part of me. The primitive part that wants you all to myself. But the rational sideโฆ I hoped to hell your heats had gotten easier.โ
Daemonikai caressed her, moving his hand rhythmically from her hip to her shoulder. โI hoped they no longer hurt you the way they used to. That you found someone kind who took care of you. Someone who put your needs first and made sure you never suffered.โ
Knowing he worried about her this way struck a chord in her.
โBut having blocked your heat for years, your next mini-heat might be even worse than a full one. It might even beโฆโ
โLife-threatening?โ
โI will not let anything happen to you,โ he vowed. โI will be here, and I will take good care of you.โ
โIt scares me, you know,โ she admitted, her gaze dropping as fear shone in her eyes. โEspecially now that Iโve stopped taking the pills. I forgot them in Navia and havenโt tried to get new ones. Coupled with what we did the night beforeโฆ it will be here any moment.โ
โAnd we will be ready for it.โ Turning her around, he enveloped her in a spooning hug from behind. โIt wonโt be like last time.โ