Chapter 5
How ironic. What about the child in my womb? Did it materialize from thin air? Then again, he was technically “dead.”
I suppressed the bitterness and fury rising within me and averted my gaze from the loving couple. Fighting back nausea, I nodded: “Rest assured, I agree this arrangement is absurd. I would never consent to it either.”
Hearing my words, Azazel turned to me with surprise. Just then, Richard and Christine came downstairs. They had overheard what I’d said. Their expressions were sympathetic as they took in my pale face and swollen eyes.
“Sylvia…” Christine began, then hesitated.
Looking at my in-laws, I felt a jumble of emotions. Since I’d married into the family, they had treated me well. Their recent concern seemed genuine, too. But when I remembered that they knew all along about Azazel arranging my kidnapping and assault—that I was the only one kept in the dark—my feelings toward them became impossibly complicated. The words “Mom and Dad” could no longer pass my lips.
“You heard me,” I said. “This arrangement is ridiculous, and I refuse.”
Christine, likely remembering Azazel’s words from yesterday, didn’t push. She merely sighed. “I understand. Your love for Azazel runs deep, and you can’t forget him. Of course, you wouldn’t agree to this. But I worry about you so much…”
She paused, glancing at Azazel before continuing earnestly: “Sylvia, Azazel is gone, but you’re still here. People must look forward. I still want to urge you—don’t dwell on him forever. Move on and start a new life.”
Azazel and Rebecca noticeably relaxed when I rejected the marriage arrangement, their expressions brightening. But something complex flickered in Azazel’s eyes as he studied me. Following Christine’s lead, he began his own sanctimonious lecture:
“Rebecca, Mother is right. Azazel is gone. No matter how much you loved him, you’re now separated by death. There’s no future there. You still have to live your life, so it’s best to forget him—for your sake and his. Fortunately, he left you with a child. That’s something to hold onto. Even without him, you can raise his child and continue living.”
Listening to Azazel’s self-righteous speech, I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly inside. A child? He still expected me to bear his child? What a delusion!
Though my heart was filled with contempt, I put on a moved expression and followed their lead: “You’re all right. I spent the entire night thinking, and I’ve come to understand. I’ve been stubborn, and I’ve worried you all unnecessarily. Azazel had a low sperm count, and this pregnancy has been so difficult. Perhaps it’s heaven’s will that his bloodline end with him. So I’ve decided to respect that—to follow your advice. I’ll terminate this pregnancy, let him go completely, and start a new life with someone else.”
As I spoke, I thought to myself that a man as despicable as Azazel deserved worse than having no children. With his character, I’d worry any child he fathered would be born defective. For my sake and the child’s future, this pregnancy had to end.
Looking up, I saw that everyone had frozen in shock at my words. My in-laws looked suddenly alarmed. Azazel’s face twisted with emotion. Of course, he wasn’t happy—he’d just heard me say I wanted to terminate his child and that heaven had destined him to die without descendants.
He shot to his feet, instinctively shouting: “Who told you to get rid of the baby?!”
Immediately realizing his overreaction, he took a deep breath and tried to control his emotions, though his expression remained dark. After a moment, he frowned deeply and spoke in a reproachful tone:
“Rebecca, Azazel has barely been gone, and you already want to terminate his child and marry someone else? Is that appropriate? This is his only flesh and blood left in this world. He was so good to you. What you’re suggesting seems incredibly cruel.”