Chapter 142

I stepped in front of Jonathan, staring into his eyes. “Whatever Alicia is to you, that’s exactly what Frederick is to me.” I left it to him to define it. “So, before you start blaming me, maybe take a look at what you’ve done.”

“You’re unreasonable,” he interrupted, pinning me against the door, his gaze meeting mine. “You know very well that it’s not the same thing.”

Why wasn’t it the same? When he got involved with someone else, it was somehow justified. But if I had contact with Frederick, then I must have ulterior motives. Was that what he thought? Even if I did, wasn’t he the one who pushed me to that point?

This marriage had long since become a formality. I didn’t see him as my husband anymore. So, what gave him the right to interfere with anything I did? Just looking at his arrogant, self-righteous attitude made me furious. I was about to push him away when he instinctively grabbed my wrist. The moment his hand touched mine, he realized something and immediately let go, lowering his eyes to the wound on my left hand.

In that instant, the anger and coldness in his face melted away, replaced by guilt and tenderness. After a long silence, he sighed, his grip loosening as he pulled me into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely. “Did I hurt you just now?” The remorse and compromise in his voice only fueled my rage. I would have preferred him to yell at me—anything but this fake concern. Was I supposed to be pitied? Was he only being gentle because he knew I had once tried to end my life?

All those years after we married, I gave him unconditional love. He never once looked back. It took destroying myself just to earn a shred of pity. Just thinking about that made me feel sick to my stomach. My whole body trembled.

“It doesn’t hurt,” I said coldly. “The worst pain has already passed. So now? It doesn’t hurt at all.”

He didn’t say anything. He leaned his head into the crook of my neck, gently brushing against it. “I know you’re angry. If letting it out like this helps, I don’t mind.” His hand moved slowly along my back. “But don’t ever do something so stupid again.”

Stupid? Did he mean dying for him?

“Don’t worry,” I said with a bitter laugh. “That’ll never happen again.”

It was the answer he should have wanted, but he tightened his arms around me even more, as if he disliked my words. A moment later, I heard his low voice. “Go ahead and lash out if you want. At the end of the day, it’s just you blowing off steam.”

He hadn’t even finished his sentence when I cut him off. “If you keep stalling and refuse to divorce me, I will keep throwing tantrums.”

He immediately let go of me and forced me to lift my face. His intense gaze bore down on me as he remained silent for a long time. And then, finally, I heard his cold voice. “Divorce? Don’t even think about it.”

My hands clenched into fists. “Then I’ll file for it myself. As long as I meet the requirements in the contract, I will divorce you.”

“For the 100 million dollars, right?” He let out a mocking laugh. “You’d get it faster just by asking me for it.”

“If I asked, would you actually give it to me?”

“Of course.”

He suddenly caressed my cheek. “What have I ever denied you? A house? A car? 100 million in cash? You think I care about that?”

“Then why haven’t you given it to me?”

His cold gaze lingered on me before he sighed. “You’re already dreaming about taking off before finding your footing. If I really let you go… Where would that leave me? How would I ever get you back?”