Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen: It Is Probably a Good Thing - 2

Gray, heightened, and a bit uptight, I vent my frustrations. I change and go to find something to make for dinner. I want something quick and easy, but filling. I don’t enjoy cooking for one the way I used to; I had gotten used to cooking for two. I have gotten used to doing most things for two these days.

I settle on chicken salad, focusing on its protein content to fill me up. If I get hungry later, I can make something else. It will do for now.

I’m here a bit less than most of the night, not knowing what to do with myself. It’s pathetic. Alyssa had texted me back and forth throughout the night. She sent me some photos, too, like they were having a good time. I should make more of an effort to spend time with her friends and meet the ones I haven’t. She has met most of the people in my life. I don’t know how much she has told her friends about me and our relationship. I would like to think she hasn’t overshared.

I put on a movie to try to distract myself. I was going to have a drink but decided against it in case I need to pick Alyssa up. Part of me hopes she does need a ride. If I pick her up, she will stay the night with me after all. God, when did I become so needy and dependent? It’s not Alyssa’s fault.

If anyone got too close, my absolute boundary would be to let more happen, I would end things before that happened. I don’t want to do that with Alyssa. Maybe I should, but I don’t want to. My thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I’m surprised to see Alysta calling. It’s not even ten. She may be calling for a chat and…

“Hey, sweetheart, is everything okay? You aren’t heading home already, are you?” I ask.

“Yeah, everything is fine, babe. No, I’m not ready to come home yet. I’m getting some ale and wanted to talk to you,” she replies sweetly. A few words, but it tells me she is missing me, too.

“You’re right, kitten? Have you had much to drink?”

“Good. We’re having fun. I’ve only had a few. You should come and have a drink with us,” she suggests.

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to intrude on your girls’ night,” I reply. I'm just not in the mood for going out.

“Ondine, can you come to your long?” he asks.

“Of course, beautiful. You’re always welcome,” he says. “Let me know when you’re ready for home, and I will come pick you up.”

*At least you will get home safe.

The laughs, “If you must.”

We talk for a few minutes before we end the call. I’m happier knowing she is coming to stay with me. I’m fine with either, as long as it means I get to sleep next to her. We might be better off staying at… I’ll decide when I pick her up.