Chapter 71

Sam picked me up at noon. The first thing I noticed was how dressed up he was—khaki pants and a branded sweater—and I wondered if it was just for the baby beds or if he had other plans. I didn't want to offend him by asking.

"Two? Why do you need two?" Sam asked as we walked through the aisle of one of my hometown's two maternity stores. A few eyes turned our way. I saw recognition flicker in an old lady's eyes as they went from me to my belly, but she quickly looked away.

"Twins need two beds," I reminded him.

"Twins?" His eyes widened.

"Didn't I mention?"

"No." A small smile touched his lips. "Two. Wow. Double trouble."

I smiled, walking over to the white beds—exactly what I'd imagined—and checked the price tag: $350 USD. $350 wasn't a lot; I knew there were much more expensive cribs, but it was a lot for someone trying to save every penny. I'd expected to spend around $400 total, but this was the price for one.

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked, noticing the fading happiness in my eyes.

"Yeah," I offered a weak smile. "I was going to buy cots instead of cribs to save money, but I can just buy one. It's too big for an infant. They can share for a few months, and then I'll buy another."

"OrI can buy the second one for you," he offered.

"Nonsense!"

"No, really. I obviously missed your baby shower or gender reveal, so consider this my baby shower gift."

"I didn't have a baby shower."

"Blasphemy," he teased. "We should have one now!"

"Party of three? Luna being the third, by the way."

"Come on, you're not that lonely."

"I am," I said, walking to the baby clothes section. I hadn't bought any yet, and figured this was a good time to start. I didn't know the genders, so I was picking out gender-neutral onesies. "I mean, I can always call Alice, but"

My voice trailed off. He quietly added, "I don't think you should do that."

"Why not?"

He hesitated. "I may have mentioned to her last night that you're back, and she may not have reacted well."

Silence hung between us as I processed his words. "Oh."

"I'm sure she'll come around," he said quickly, handing me a pastel yellow onesie with animals. "Your disappearance hurt her."

I nodded, pushing back the weight in my chest. I had hurt people, and apologies were due. But would she really not want me to reach out?

"Aw, this is cute," I said, grabbing two bear onesies. It was a quick way to change the subject, and Sam took the bait.

"So, that cot. I'm buying one. Scratch that, I'm buying both."

My jaw dropped. "Absolutely not."

"I have to gift you something."

"Not such an expensive cot!"

"You're my best friend, Soph. I've known you since we were kids, and now you're having kids. You really think a cot is expensive? You should see how I plan to spoil them."

I sighed, looking at him reluctantly. "Are you sure?"

"Would I offer if I wasn't?"

I smiled, and he smiled back as we went to the checkout with my cart full of baby items.

"That'll be $1250," the cashier said, her gray eyes flickering between us.

"We'd like to bill for the cots separately," Sam said, for my benefit.

"One of the cots," I clarified.

She nodded, handing him a notepad. "Please write the delivery address."

"I've got it," Sam said, and I handed her my card.

"Twins?" she asked.

I nodded, smiling.

"I had twins fifteen years ago," she smiled, a happy nostalgia in her eyes. "My girls were a handful."

"I'm trying to be prepared," I said, cradling my bump.

"Oh, dear, my situation was very different. I was alone because my husband took a job overseas when I was months pregnant! But don't worry, between the two of you, you'll be fine."

My smile fell. "Ohwe're nothe isn't"

"Thank you," Sam cut me off, handing her the notepad with a tight-lipped smile and lightly putting his hand on my shoulder, guiding me out with the bags.

It should be Gabriel. This should be Gabriel.

The thought silenced me for the rest of the trip home.

"Thank you for coming with me," I said as Sam put the bags by my door. The sun was setting.

"I'm mad. You didn't even eat lunch!"

"I lost my appetite."

"Hm." He sat on the steps of my porch.

"What are you doing?"

He patted the space beside him. "Sit with me?"

I stared, then gave in. He helped me sit, as it was getting increasingly difficult. It was a miracle I'd held my bladder since the diner.

"What's up?"

"You didn't call, Soph," he said softly. "You disappeared one day, and I found out from news articles that the girl I've loved my whole life had married someone else."

My face fell.

"I believed all kinds of rumors—a contract marriage, that you were forced into it, that you'd get free and come to me someday," he continued. "When I saw you two that first time, I saw it in his eyes—he was in love with you. It bothered him that I was there, that you were talking to me, and I thought I should move on."

"I did move on," he continued, "especially after Jim passed and I saw how he held youas much as it hurt. I accepted that was your life. He was your life. And then you got a divorce."

"I know you love him. I can see it in your eyes. I know I'm not him, but he's gone, Soph," Sam's words broke my heart. "What I'm saying is, it's always been you. And that man? He's given up on this? On you? His own children? I don't understand how you can still love him."

"Sam" I tried to interrupt.

"Soph," he wouldn't let me speak. "Let me step in"

My jaw dropped. "What?"

"The babiesthey need a dad, even if you don't need a husband. Let me love them like my own."

My mind blanked. All I could say was, "Samwhat?!"

"I will accept whatever pieces of you you give me, Sophia. It's always been you, and it will always be"

"Sam, stop," I said, my voice soft but firm. "They are Cal's children. Him not being here won't change that. II love him. I will always love him. I have nothing to—"

"I'm sorry."

"You're being selfish," he said harshly. "You're denying your children a father figure because you're in love with someone who never loved you back."

Hurt must have shown on my face, because his eyes widened, and he apologized, but I didn't listen.

"I'll pay you back for the cot," I scowled. "Leave."

"Sophia"

"I saidLEAVE!"

The door swung open to reveal a huffing Luna, a gravy-dripping spoon in her hand. She frowned. "Is there a problem?"

"No," Sam said, rising. "I was just leaving."

Luna helped me up—I refused Sam's hand—and I walked inside, ignoring his sad gaze.