Lennoxโs POV
I felt terrible. For the past two hours, since returning from the woods, I couldnโt stop thinking about what happened. The raw pain I saw in Oliviaโs eyes, the angerโit told me how deeply my words must have hurt her. I felt horrible and considered going to her, but if I did, what would I say? Apologize? Tell her I wouldnโt keep it a secret? Tell her I would let go of the past and accept our bond? All that was impossible. So what was the point in going to her? Maybe she was right. Maybe thisโฆwhatever it is between usโฆneeds to end. She never truly wanted me. It was never me. So I should just leave it that way.
With a heavy sigh, I walked to the far end of my room where a small safe was tucked behind a shelf. My fingers trembled slightly as I reached out and brushed the dust off the keypad. I hadnโt opened it in months. Maybe even a year.
Sixโฆoneโฆsevenโฆeightโฆ
The soft click echoed in the silence as the safe unlocked. I hesitated for a moment, staring at the small door, then slowly opened it. My hand reached inside and pulled it out. I just stood there, staring at it as the weight of memories came crashing down. My throat tightened. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I didnโt blink them away.
Itโs been four years. Four damn years. And it still hurt like hell. Every time I saw it, it felt like a blade twisting in my chest all over again. I could never bring myself to burn itโฆnever could throw it away either. I kept telling myself that one dayโone dayโIโd confront her with it. Look her in the eyes and demand answers. But every time I got closeโฆI froze. Because deep down, I wasnโt sure I wanted the truth. What if she admits it? What if she looks me dead in the eye and says, โYes, I did itโ? What then?
How the hell would I survive that?
I inhaled deeply and shoved the item back into the safe. Closed it. Locked it. I returned to the couch, picking up my glass of whiskey, trying to drown myself in alcohol, like I did that day. I almost drank myself to death. Olivia had hurt me so dearly. How can I still have a place for her in my heart? Why canโt my heart see reason and hate her? I was supposed to feel nothing but hate for that woman.
A sudden knock came on the door, and before I could ask the person to go away, the door pushed open. I frowned, already knowing it was my mother through her vanilla scent. She stepped in and slowly shut the door. Immediately, her eyes landed on me, and a worried look spread across her face. I grumbled, wishing I had locked my door.
โLennox, is everything okay?โ She sounded so worried as she moved closer.
I rubbed my forehead. โYes, Mother,โ I replied. โJustโฆpack stress.โ I lied.
Mother, who didnโt seem to believe me, sat on my bed, her eyes studying me. It was obvious she didnโt believe me, but my mother knew I hated being questioned. When I said I was fine, it was better not to question me.
After a moment, she sighed. โIโm here to discuss an important matter with you. I should have discussed it with you and your brothers, but since you are the eldest, I thought of coming to you.โ
I frowned. โMother, weโre triplets. None of us is older.โ
Mother rolled her eyes. โYou know thatโs not true. You came out first, and ten minutes later, I had Levi, and five minutes later came Louis,โ she argued.
I scowled at her. Here she went again, bringing up this age debate. I wasnโt in the mood for it. โFine,โ I muttered. โGo on, then. What is it you need to say?โ
She glanced at the whiskey glass in my hand, then looked back up at me. โThe full moon is in two weeks.โ
My heart skipped a beat. My fingers froze around the glass. I didnโt say anything. I didnโt need to. I knew exactly what that meant. Oliviaโs first heat.
My jaw clenched tightly as I stared into the amber liquid swirling in the glass. The room suddenly felt colder, like someone had cracked open the window and let winter inside.
In werewolf tradition, any she-wolf who has been markedโwillingly or notโexperiences heat under the full moon. Itโs intense, uncontrollableโฆprimal. She desires her mate, aches for him. But if the mate isnโt there or refuses her, that ache becomes torment. Desperation. And sometimesโฆsheโll take anyone just to case it.
My throat burned with that thought. Another man touching her. Another man holding her the way only I should. No. My grip tightened around the glass, and I had to force myself not to shatter it in my hand.
โI thought itโs best to remind you,โ my mother continued gently, watching me with a mixture of sympathy and hesitation. โYou and your brothers marked her, Lennox. Whether you accept her or not, the bond exists. You might not be ready, but your wolfโher wolfโwonโt care about reasons.โ
I shut my eyes briefly and exhaled through my nose. โWhy are you telling me this now?โ
โBecause you need to prepare yourselfโyou and your brothers. This is Oliviaโs first heat. I know what she will go through if you men refuse to touch her.โ
The room fell into silence. I understood what Mother said. I know what it means for a woman to go through her first heat after being marked. Some whose mates arenโt around end up sleeping with different male wolves just to quench the heat.
I thought of Olivia. Of how she had broken me. Then I looked away.
โMother, I think you should have the discussion with either Levi or Louis because Anita also bears my mark, and she will be on heat that day, so I will be with her,โ I murmured and saw the disappointment on my motherโs face. โMaybe one of them will choose to be with Olivia,โ I added, even though I knew the odds were slim.
My mother glared at me, clearly disappointed, but she didnโt argue or press on. Rather, she stood to her feet and walked away.
I downed the rest of the whiskey and slammed the glass on the table. The burn in my throat didnโt compare to the pain clawing through my chest. I ran a hand through my hair and let out a low growl. What pissed me off the most wasโฆshe was right. My wolf was already agitated just hearing it. The thought of Olivia needingโcravingโa touch during that damn full moon and me not being there?
No. Hell no. But then I reminded myself. She hurt you. She never even wanted me. Not really. She said it herself. So why the hell did I still care?
Even nowโฆeven after everythingโฆa twisted part of me still ached for her. Still saw the girl who once looked at me like I was her whole worldโeven if it was all a goddamn lie.
I thought of Levi and Louis. I knew they would also not accept being with Olivia. They hate her too. But what if one of them agrees? Or worse, what if both my brothers agree? Then what will happen? Would I be with Anitaโฆwhile my brothers touched the woman I still dreamed about? The thought made me restless. I couldnโt even imagine it in my head.