Oliviaโs POV
She was here because of the full moon? I hoped it wasnโt what I was thinking.
โWhat about the full moon?โ I asked, already sounding annoyed by the topic.
She sighed, stood from her seat, and came to sit beside me on the bed. A small frown formed on my face. I had a feeling this conversation wasnโt going to go the way I wanted it to.
โI believe you know what the full moon does to us she-wolves?โ she asked. I glanced at her and nodded.
โBut what does that have to do with me?โ I asked, pretending to be ignorant.
Lady Fiona, the tripletsโ mother, sighed and spoke. โIโm worried about youโฆ Youโll go into heat that day,โ she said, her voice filled with genuine concern.
My frown deepened. I knew what she meantโand I was worried too. Going into heat was a vulnerable, painful experience for us. And if your mate was nearby but refused to touch you, it made everything worse.
I sucked in a deep breath. โYou donโt have to worry about me, Ma. I can take care of myself.โ
I lied. I was terrified. This would be my first time going into heat, and Iโd heard too much about itโhow overwhelming the desire became, how badly we craved a maleโs touch. Some she-wolves even went as far as sleeping with strangers just to ease it. Others locked themselves in rooms and endured the pain in silence.
I think thatโs what Iโm going to do.
โOlivia, this is your first heatโฆ You canโt endure it, especially with the tripletsโ marks on you. Itโll be torture,โ she said, sounding even more worried.
I frowned. I knew she was right. It would have been easier if I didnโt carry their marks. But I did. Not just oneโall three. I knew it would be hell for me. But stillโฆ Iโm Olivia. Iโve survived worse. I can get through this too.
โYouโre strong, Olivia. Iโve seen it. However, strength doesnโt make you immune to the heat,โ she said gently, reaching out to hold my hand. โYou donโt have to endure it.โ
I pulled my hand away, not out of disrespect, but because her kindness made my walls tremble.
โThey donโt want me,โ I whispered, my voice cracking. โNot really. Not as their mate. So Iโll lock myself up that day, until my heat is over.โ
โBut they marked you.โ
โThey marked me because they were forced, not because of love,โ I snapped, then quickly softened my tone. โIโm sorry. I didnโt mean to raise my voice.โ
Lady Fiona nodded, as if she understood. โBut Iโve been trying to talk to them. If just one of them agreesโฆ would you allow it to happen?โ
โNo!โ I said without hesitation. โI wonโt let any of them touch me. They have Anita. She has their marks too. Sheโll be in heat that day. They should go to her.โ
I tried to sound firm, but deep down, it hurt.
Back when I was just a teen, I used to dream of the full moon. Back then, I didnโt understand what โheatโ truly meant. All I knew was that the older girls spoke about it in whispers, their eyes glassy and voices filled with desire. They said it was powerful, painful, beautiful. They said that when your heat came, your mate would feel it tooโthat he would come for you. That he wouldnโt be able to stay away.
And even thenโฆ it was the triplets I dreamt of. My best friends. My safe place. My entire world.
They treated me like a little sister, like someone to protect. But my heartโฆ it had always seen them differently. Even when I was younger, I would watch them laugh together and feel something stir inside me. A wish. A quiet ache.
Sometimes I imagined it would be Leviโheโd pull me into his arms and whisper that I was his, that he had waited for me. Other nights, it was Louisโmischievous and wild, but always gentle with me. In my fantasies, heโd burst through my door, unable to resist the bond, and kiss me like he meant it. And Lennoxโฆ the one who always made me feel safe, who always stood a little closer than necessary. I dreamt he would worship my body with his hands and lips.
I had been so foolish. So full of hope.
โI used to dream of this,โ I whispered bitterly, curling tighter beneath my blanket. โI thought it would be beautiful.โ
But nowโฆ now I was just the girl with their marks but none of their hearts. They didnโt see me the way I saw them. Maybe they never had.
โThey have Anita,โ I said to Lady Fiona. โTheyโll go to her. They should go to her.โ
And saying thatโฆ it broke something inside me. Because when the full moon came and heat consumed meโฆ I knew I wouldnโt be the one they ran to. Iโd just be the mate with their marks.
For a moment, neither of us said a word. Then Lady Fiona spoke. โI talked to Lennox. He refused. I donโt understand whatโs wrong with them.โ She whispered it like she didnโt mean for me to hearโbut I did.
Soโฆ. she had spoken to them. And they rejected me.
Wow.
My wolf whimpered inside me, but I buried the pain and straightened my shoulders.
โYou shouldnโt have spoken to them. Because Iโm not letting any of them touch me,โ I said, frowning and looking away.
Lady Fiona exhaled softly, clearly holding back her emotions. Her hand hovered over mine again, but this time she didnโt touch me. โIโm sorry, Olivia. I justโฆ I canโt stand to see you suffer. Youโre like a daughter to me.โ
I swallowed hard, blinking away the sting in my eyes. โIโll survive,โ I whispered. โLike I always do.โ
There was a long pause before she stood from the bed. Her eyes lingered on me, filled with sorrow and something I didnโt quite understandโguilt, maybe. Or worry.
โI wonโt push anymore,โ she said quietly, smoothing her skirt. โBut promise me somethingโฆ If it becomes too muchโif it hurts more than you can bearโyouโll call for someone. Anyone. Donโt lock yourself away in silence.โ
I furrowed my brow and looked up at her, confused. Was she suggesting I let another man touch me if I canโt endure the pain?
โYes, Olivia.โ She nodded, as if she could read my thoughts. โItโs not against the rules. In fact, the law agrees with it. If a male wolf refuses to touch his mate while sheโs in heat, sheโs allowed to sleep with other men.โ
I blinked my lashes, surprised that she was actually proposing this to me.
โSo if you canโt endure itโฆ call for someone. Iโll support you. Itโs the Alphasโ loss.โ
With that, she leftโleaving me stunned and confused.