Chapter 1142
I shook my head at him urgently.
I made an effort to calm myself down and said to him, “Reynaldo, I am telling you very clearly and distinctly now that I love only you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
I admit, I have deceived you many times and kept many things from you, but there were reasons for that. Stop overthinking, okay?
“We were doing well, the four of us, being together, right Reynaldo?”
Reynaldo’s eyes suddenly turned red. He looked at me and said, “What if one day you regret it?”
“No way!” I said firmly, “I will never regret it.”
He suddenly raised his hand and looked at the palm of his hand, almost painfully saying, “But I really did a lot of things that hurt you. I ruined your once brilliant life, destroyed your happiness, and forcefully dragged you into the mud with me. I brought countless disasters upon you, I even…even made it so you could never have children. I really should have died!”
He said, “At last,” and then suddenly covered his face, almost collapsing.
I knew. Losing my ability to conceive was the final straw that broke his inner belief. It was not just a matter of giving birth, but also a matter of Essie’s life. He must have been afraid deep down, afraid that Essie’s illness wouldn’t be cured. Once Essie had any mishaps, with his personality, he would absolutely not forgive himself. He would blame all the faults on himself; he would not let himself go, he would never let himself go in his whole life.
So, these issues would soon become a big problem between him and me. All those problems could also potentially break apart the feelings between us. So he dared not go any further.
He hesitated, pushing me towards Anton, thinking that following Anton was my best destination. Is it like this? But that was just his opinion. I don’t care about the future; at this moment, I just can’t accept parting with him like this. I just wanted to seize the happiness in front of me, and then do my best to maintain this happiness.
I put my arm around Reynaldo’s shoulder and whispered, “Don’t think like that, all of that is in the past.”
And I made it very clear to you that I only saw Anton as a friend; I didn’t want to be with him. “I just wanted us, and our children, the four of us together.”
Reynaldo slowly raised his eyes to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot, filled with complexity and pain. He smiled at me almost sadly and said, “Why… do you have to hold on to me like this, hold on to this relationship, this marriage? Just because you want to give the children a healthy home?”
I was stunned, looking at him intently. So I said so much, and he still didn’t believe me, right? A sense of defeat suddenly surged in my heart. That sense of defeat slowly swelled in the chest, eventually turning into an indescribable sense of grievance and resentment.
“Reynaldo, what do you want me to do before you understand?!” Since you have no confidence in our relationship, why did you start with me?!
I said, “I don’t love Anton, I don’t like Anton, why don’t you believe me!”
“What do you want me to do before you’re willing to give up?!” I shouted at him hoarsely. I felt like he was driving me crazy. I told him nicely, but he didn’t believe me. I yelled at him hysterically, but he just looked at me calmly.